Did you write exams in school in these big words?
I used such words very-very freely in my exams both at the secondary
school and in my university and little wonder I had the misfortune of
my English results being seized intermittently in my O’ Levels.
WAEC released my results for the other subjects and withheld my
English result. This happened for about three years. Twice, I passed
the University Matriculation Examination but I could not proceed to the
University because of my English results that were not released. At the
end of the day, it was released after the third attempt.
Why do you always speak ‘big grammar’?
I am not really consensus ad idem with those who opine that my
idiolect is advertently obfuscative. No no no, it’s just that I am in my
elements when the colloquy has to do with the pax nigeriana of our
dreams and one necessarily needs to fulminate against the alcibiadian
modus vivendi of our prebendal political class.
How do you talk to your wife, children and even your friends?
I relate with my family and friends very warmly and in an atmosphere
of camaraderie, stripped of my confutational habiliment and gladiatorial
homilies. I am a very peaceful, calm, level-headed and celestially
attuned soul personality.
Is this the way you proposed to your wife, speaking high tech grammar?
Of course, the business of the day when I interfaced with my wife on
matters of the heart had to be in plain Caeser’s language and you can
decipher why that had to be so. The matter in view did not permit itself
of sphinxian conundrum.
Do you know that many people don’t take you too seriously when you talk
because they think you are not communicating
Why will I be perturbed from ensconcing myself in the palatable arms of
Morpheus because people have deprived themselves of the cultivation
of the regime of the mental magnitude? I read all the farrago of
baloneys and vacuous bunkum from pepper soup objurgators. The spirit
of animadversion remains their fundamental human right. It also
remains an indubitable fact that I get millions and millions of requests
daily from people all over the world requesting for my verbal
mentorship which positive cosmopolitan reactions have assisted my
equipoise and righteous sense of pachydermatous garb. I cannot put my
nose to the grindstone daily and expect to be understood by those
luxuriating in a modus vivendi, verging on pepper souping, goat
heading, suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising. Has a philosophical
wag not once pontificated that things of the spirit are spiritually
discerned and that it takes the deep to call the deep? We will speak
more on this matter of critiques and chichi dodo another day.
Why do you pull your trousers up beyond the waist?
Hahahaha….That trousers style is called Yohji Yamamoto. It was my
own audacious statement to remonstrate against the pervasive
tendency of Nigerians especially our youths that took to the practice of
putting on trousers exposing their lower anatomical contours and I will
do it over and over again
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